Him

Him

As he sings on stage, my heart suddenly flutters. Butterflies were flying happily in my tummy. His voice; as sweet as honey, makes me feel safe and warm. His eyes twinkling, as my heart goes wild.

As he dance on stage, his eyes turn into a crescent shape. His smile were as wide just like a mom who feels happy for her newborn child. His chuckles were my happy pills.

As he cry, my heart shatter into pieces. My tummy feels weird. I feel nauseous. My tears roll down my cheeks as I saw him cry. His tears were precious, whether it's happiness or sadness. 

As he laugh, i feel like a proud mother. Seeing him laugh is the key that he's happy within that short moment. Cherishing his laughter because he's happy and not sad.

But as I cry, he was my happy pill. Even though he may not see me, doesn't know I'm here breathing, doesn't know I exist, on the inside, i know he care. He cares for a fan like me.

As i try to suicide, he was not here. But I stop 3 months ago. I promised to myself that I need to see you before I die. You were my saviour. He was my saviour. A hero, but doesn't know that he save me. He made me a suicide survivor.

Because of you, I'll study hard, i'll stop suicide, i'll try to stop myself from falling sick and i promise to make you proud when I meet you in person. 

Even though you don't know me, you won't meet me often, i'll always be there for you, in your heart, supporting you. 

You're my saviour, my hero, whom i'll always remember. I'll always smile when i hear your sweet voice. Thank you, Byun Baekhyun. Thank you so much. I'll always love you.